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Herblock's Law
If it's good, they'll stop making it.

Law of the Individual:
Nobody really cares or understands what anyone else is doing.

Jake's Law:
Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.

Jaroslovsky's Law:
The distance you have to park from your apartment increases in proportion 
to the weight of packages you are carrying.

Jenkinson's Law:
It won't work.

John's Collateral Corollary:
In order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it.

Johnson's Forst Law:
When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most 
inconvenient time.

Johnson-Laird's Law:
Toothache tends to start on Saturday night.

Klipstein's Law of Specifications:
In specifications, Murphy's Law supersedes Ohm's.

Koppett's Law:
Whatever creates the greatest inconvenience for the largest number must happen.

Laura's Law:
No child throws up in the bathroom.

(F)law of Long-Range Planning:
The longer ahead you plan a special event, and the more special it is, 
the more likely it is to go wrong.
2
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Lowrey's Law of Expertise:
Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it any more.

The Unspeakable Law:
As soon as you mention something ...
- if it's good, it goes away.
- if it's bad, it happens.

Davis's Basic Law of Medicine:
Pills to be taken in twos always come out of the bottle in threes.

Dhawan's Law for the Non-Smoker #1:
The cigarette smoke always drifts in the direction of the non-smoker 
regardless of the direction of the breeze.

Dhawan's Law for the Non-Smoker #2:
The amout of pleasure derived from a cigarette is directly proportional 
to the number of non-smokers in the vicinity.

Dhawan's Law for the Non-Smoker #3:
A smoker is always attracted to the non-smoking section.

Dhawan's Law for the Non-Smoker #4:
The life of a cigarette is directly proportional to the intensity of 
the protests from the non-smokers.

Dieter's Law:
Food that tastes the best has the highest number of calories.

Dude's Law of Duality:
Of two possible events, only the undesired one will occur.

Eliot's Observation:
Nothing is so good as it seems beforehand.

Old Engineer's Law:
The larger the project or job, the less time there is to to it.

Fetridge's Law:
Important things that are supposed to happen do not happen, especially 
when people are looking.

Finagle's Laws of Information:
1. The information you have is not what you want.
2. The information you want is not what you need.
3. The information you need is not what you can obtain.
4. The information you can obtain costs more than you want to pay.

Flap's Law:
Any inanimate object, regardless of its composition or configuration, may 
be expected to perform at any time in a totally unexpected manner for 
reasons that are either entirely obscure or completely mysterious.

Freeman's Rule:
Nothing is so simple that it cannot be misunderstood.

Goodin's Law of Conversions:
The new hardware will break down as soon as the old is disconnected and out.

Gumperson's Proof:
The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).

Hardin's Law
Every time you come up with a terrific idea, you find that someone else 
thought of it first.

Barber's Law of Backpacking #7
The remaining distance to your chosen campsite remains constant as 
twilight approaches.

Barber's Law of Backpacking #8
The net weight of your boots is proportional to the cube of the number 
of hours you have been on the trail.

Barber's Law of Backpacking #9
When you arrive at your chosen campsite, it is full.

Barber's Law of Backpacking #10
If you take your boots off, you'll never get them back on again.

Barber's Law of Backpacking #11
The local density of mosquitos is inversely proportional to your 
remaining repellent.

Barrett's Law of Driving #1
You can get ANYWHERE in ten minutes if you go fast enough.

Barrett's Law of Driving #2
Speed bumps are of negligible effect when the vehicle exceeds triple 
the desired restraining speed.

Barrett's Law of Driving #3
The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.

Barrett's Law of Driving #4
This lane ends in 500 feet.

Berson's Corollary of Inverse Distances
The farther away from the entrance that you have to park, the closer the 
space vacated by the car that pulls away as you walk up to the door.

Clark's Law
It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Clyde's Law
If you have something to do, and put it off long enough, chances are 
that someone else will do it for you.

Cole's Law
Thinly sliced cabbage.

Cooke's Law
In any decisive situation, the amount of relevant information available is 
inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.

Cornuelle's Law
Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.

Corry's Law
Paper is always strongest at the perforations.

Murphy's Military Law #15
Don't be conspicuous.
- In the combat zone, it draws fire.
- Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.

Murphy's Military Law #16
If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.


A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.

Murphy's Technology Law #1
After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.

Murphy's Technology Law #2
Any circuit design must contain at least:
one part which is obsolete, 
two parts which are unobtainable and 
three parts which are still under development.

Murphy's Technology Law #3
If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.

Murphy's Technology Law #4
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

Murphy's Technology Law #5
Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.

Murphy's Technology Law #6
The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level 
of management.

Barber's Law of Backpacking #1
The integral of the gravitational potential taken around any loop trail 
you chose to hike always comes out positive.

Barber's Law of Backpacking #2
Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to 
exactly the point of most pressure.

Barber's Law of Backpacking #3
The weight of your pack increases in direct proportion to the amount of 
food you consume from it.  
If you run out of food, the pack weight goes on increasing anyway.

Barber's Law of Backpacking #4
The number of stones in your boot is directly proportional to the number 
of hours you have been on the trail.

Barber's Law of Backpacking #5
The difficulty of finding any given trail marker is directly proportional 
to the importance of the consequences of failing to find it.

Barber's Law of Backpacking #6
The size of each of the stones in your boot is directly proportional to 
the number of hours you have been on the trail.

De La Lastra's Corollary
After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold-down screws, it will 
be discovered that the gasket has been ommitted.

Gerrold's Law
A little ignorance can go a long way.

Murphy's Military Law #1
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.

Murphy's Military Law #2
No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.

Murphy's Military Law #3
Friendly fire ain't.

Murphy's Military Law #4
The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

Murphy's Military Law #5
The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already 
mined it.

Murphy's Military Law #6
The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody 
else to shoot at.

Murphy's Military Law #7
The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely 
your artillery will shoot short.

Murphy's Military Law #8
Incoming fire has the right of way.

Murphy's Military Law #9
If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

Murphy's Military Law #10
The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

Murphy's Military Law #11
If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

Murphy's Military Law #12
The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned 
positions.

Murphy's Military Law #13
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming 
friendly fire.

Murphy's Military Law #14
There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at 
you, and miss.

Bicycle Law
All bicycles weigh 50 pounds:
- A 30 pound bicycle needs a 20 pound lock.
- A 40 pound bicycle needs a 10 pound lock.
- A 50 pound bicycle doesn't need a lock.

Cohen's Law
What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the facts, not 
the facts themselves.

Comin's Law
People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin 
Franklin said it first.

Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics
1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.
2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.

Langin's Law
If things were left to chance, they'd be better

In America, it's not how much an item costs that matters, it's how much 
you save.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, maybe 
you just don't understand the situation.

Sevareid's Law
The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Thoreau's Law
If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intention of doing you 
good, you should run for your life.

Army Axiom
Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.

Pournelle's Law of Costs and Schedules
Everything costs more and takes longer.

Klipstein's Lament
All warranty and guarantee clauses are voided by payment of the invoice.

Klipstein's Observation
Any product cut to length will be too short.

Sueker's Note
If you need n items of anything, you will have n - 1 in stock.

Rosenfield's Regret
The most delicate component will be dropped.

De La Lastra's Law
After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, 
it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.

Conway's Law
In every organization there will always be one person who knows what 
is going on. This person must be fired!

Stewart's Law of Retroaction
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

First Law of Laboratory Work
Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.

Handy Guide to Modern Science
1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology.
2. If it stinks, it's chemistry.
3. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

The Sausage Principle
People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one 
being made.

Horngren's Observation (generalized)
The real world is a special case.

Merkin's Maxim
When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.

Hawkin's Theory of Progress
Progress does not consist of replacing a theory that is wrong with one 
that is right. It consists of replacing a theory that is wrong with one 
that is more subtly wrong.

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Matz's Warning
Beware of the physician who is great at getting out of trouble.

Gold's Law
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Lewis' Law
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.

Law of Reruns
If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it again, it will 
be a rerun of the same episode.

Shirley's Law
Most people deserve each other.


Forgive and remember.

Galbraith's Law of Political Wisdom
Anyone who says he is not going to resign, four times, definitely will.

Katz's Law
Men and women will act rationally when all other possibilities have been 
exhausted.

Cole's Axiom
The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is 
growing.

Churchill's Commentary on Man
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will 
pick himself up and continue on.

The Ultimate Law
All general statements are false.

The Whispered Rule
People will believe anything if you whisper it.

Farnsdick's Corollary
After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.

Lynch's Law
When the going gets tough, everybody leaves.

Law of Revelation
The hidden flaw never remains hidden.

Langsam's Law
Everything depends.

Hellrung's Law
If you wait, it will go away.
Shevelson's Extension: ... having done its damage.
Grelb's Addition: ... if it was bad, it will be back.

Ducharme's Precept
Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

First Postulate of Isomurphism
Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other.

The Unapplicable Law
Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.

Witten's Law
Whenever you cut your fingernails, you will find a need for them an hour later.

Perkin's Postulate
The bigger they are, the harder they hit.

Harrison's Postulate
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.


Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in 
trouble again.

Carson's Law:
It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Korman's Conclusion
The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come your way again.

Knight's Law
Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans.

Schmidt's Observation
All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a thin person.


Fools rush in where fools have been before.

Wyszowski's Law
No experiment is reproducible.

Fett's Law
Never replicate a successful experiment.

The First Myth of Management
It exists.


Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.

Peter's Placebo
An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.

Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor
People are always available for work in the past tense.

Wiker's Law
Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.

Weiler's Law
Nothing is impossible for the man who does not have to do it himself.

Hartley's Second Law
Never go to bed with anybody crazier than you are.

Beifeld's Principle
The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive 
young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is 
already in the company of
(1) a date,
(2) his wife, and
(3) a better looking and richer male friend.

Commoner's Second Law of Ecology
Nothing ever goes away.

Klipstein's Law
Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty of 
assembly.

Interchangeable parts won't.

You never find a lost article until you replace it.

Glatum's Law of Materialistic Acquisitiveness
The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to its 
actual usefulness once bought and paid for.

Lewis' Law
No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it 
will be on sale somewhere cheaper.


You get the most of what you need the least.

First Law of Revision
Information necessitiating a change of design will be conveyed to the 
designer after - and only after - the plans are complete.
(Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law)

Second Law of Revision
The more innocuous the modification appears to be, the further its influence 
will extend and the more plans will have to be redrawn.

Corollary to the First Law of Revision
In simple cases, presenting one obvious right way versus one obvious wrong 
way, it is often wiser to choose the wrong way, so as to expedite subsequent 
revision.

Wyszkowski's Second Law
Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.

Schmidt's Law
If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.

Sattinger's Law
It works better if you plug it in.

Lowery's Law
If it jams - force it.
If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Anthony's Law of Force
Don't force it - get a bigger hammer.

Peer's Law
The solution to the problem changes the problem.

Laws of Programming #7
The documented interfaces between standard software modules will have 
undocumented quirks.

Laws of Programming #8
The probability of a hardware failure disappearing is inversely proportional 
to the distance between the computer and the customer engineer.

Laws of Programming #9
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

Laws of Programming #10
Any program will expand to fill all available memory.

Laws of Programming #11
Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer 
to maintain it.

Laws of Programming #12
Any given program costs more and takes longer.

Laws of Programming #13
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.

Laws of Programming #14
If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.

Life sucks--then you die.

Approval Seeker's Law
Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least.

Finagle's Second Law
No matter what the experiment's result, there will always be someone eager to:
(a) misinterpret it.
(b) fake it.
or
(c) believe it supports his own pet theory.

Finagle's Third Law
In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all 
need of checking, is the mistake.

Corollaries
1. No one whom you ask for help will see it.
2. Everyone who stops by with unsought advice will see it immediately.

Finagle's Fourth Law
Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Rudin's Law
In crises that force people to choose among alternative courses of action, 
most people will choose the worst one possible.

Ginsberg's Restatement of the Three Laws of Thermodynamics
1 You can't win.
2 You can't break even.
3 You can't quit.

Ehrman's Commentary
Things will get worse before they will get better.

Who said things would get better?DAgnes Allen's Law
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.

Alley's Axiom
Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven.

Anderson's Law
I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked 
at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.

Andrew's Canoeing Postulate
No matter which direction you start, it's always against the wind coming back.

Law of Annoyance
When working on a project, if you put away a tool that you're certain 
you're finished with, you will need it instantly.

Anthony's Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the 
workshop.

Corollary:
On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.

Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules
The first 90% of the task takes 90% of the time.
The last 10% of the task takes the other 90%.

Nonreciprocal Laws of Expectations
Negative expectations yield negative results.
Positive expectations yield negative results.

Nowlan's Truism
An 'acceptable level of unemployment' means that the government economist 
to whom it is acceptable still has a job.

Laws of Programming
Definition:  A working program is one that has only unobserved bugs.

Laws of Programming #1
Every non-trivial program has at least one bug
Corollary 1:
A sufficient condition for program triviality is that it have no bugs.
Corollary 2:
At least one bug will be observed after the author leaves the organization.

Laws of Programming #2
Bugs will appear in  one part of a working program when another 'unrelated' 
part is modified.

Laws of Programming #3
The subtlest bugs cause the greatest damage and problems.
Corollary:
A subtle bug will modify storage thereby masquerading as some other problem.

Laws of Programming #4 ('Lulled into Security Law')
A 'debugged' program that crashes will wipe out source files on storage 
devices when there is the least available backup.

Laws of Programming #5
A hardware failure will cause system software to crash, and the customer 
engineer will blame the programmer.

Laws of Programming #6
A system software crash will cause hardware to act strangely and the 
programmers will blame the customer engineer.

Moer's Truism
The trouble with most jobs is the resemblance to being in a sled dog team: 
No one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.

Gordon's First Law
If a project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.

Grierson's Law of Minimal Self-Delusion
Every man nourishes within himself a secret plan for getting rich that will 
not work.

Gumperson's Law
The probability of anything happening is inversely proportional to its 
desirability.

Hoare's Law of Large Problems
Inside every large problem there is a small problem struggling to get out.

Finagle's First Law
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

Howe's Law
Everyone has a scheme that will not work.

Jones' Motto
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Mahr's Law of Restrained Involvement
Don't get any on you.

Law of Research
Enough research will tend to support your theory.

Maier's Law
If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be discarded.

Munroes Observation
Common sense is not that common.

Abbott's Admonitions
1)  If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know.
2)  If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.

Acheson's Rule of the Bureaucracy
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.

Acton's Law
Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Airplane Law
When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is 
on time.

Cheop's Law
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

Chesterton's Observation
I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

Chili Cook's Secret
If your next pot of chili tastes better, it probably is because of 
something left out, rather than added.

Stanley's Law of Taking Things Apart
When putting things back together again, there will always be at least one 
piece left over that will not fit anywhere.

The First Discovery of Christmas Morning
Batteries not included.

The First Discovery of Christmas Afternoon
Give a kid a new toy -- Dad will play with the toy, the kid will play with 
the box it came in.

Etorre's Observation
The other line always moves faster.
Corollary:
Don't try to change lines.
The other line--the one you were in originally--will then move faster.

Faber's Fourth Law
Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.

Snafu Equation No. 6
Badness comes in waves.

The Golden Rule
Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

The Law of Probable Dispersal
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed 
(also known as: The How Come It All Landed On Me Law).

Ralph's Observation
It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in 
a hurry.

Manly's Maxim
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Cannon's Comment
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, 
the next morning you will have a flat tire.

Scott's Second Law
When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have 
been correct in the first place.

The Point of No Return Law
The light at the end of the tunnel could turn out to be the headlight of 
an oncoming train.

Butler's Law of Progress
All progress is based on a universal innate desire on the part of every 
organism to live beyond its income.

Bye's First Law of Model Railroading
Anytime you wish to demonstrate something, the number of faults is 
proportional to the number of viewers.

Bye's Second Law of Model Railroading
The desire for modeling a prototype is inversely proportional to the 
decline of the prototype.

Pastore's Truth
Most jobs are marginally better than daytime TV.

Cahn's Axiom
(Allen's Axiom)
When all else fails, read the instructions.

Calkin's Law of Menu Language
The number of adjectives and verbs that are added to the description of 
a menu item is in inverse proportion to the quality of the resulting dish.

John Cameron's Law
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered, take it, because 
it'll never be quite the same again.

Troutman's Programming Law #1
If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will 
malfunction.

Troutman's Programming Law #2
Not until a program has been in production for at least six months will 
the most harmful error then be discovered.

Troutman's Programming Law #3
Job control cards that cannot be arranged in improper order will be.

Troutman's Programming Law #4
Interchangeable tapes won't.

Troutman's Programming Law #5
If the input editor has been  designed to reject all bad input, an 
ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it.

Cannon's Cogent Comment
The leak in the roof is never in the same location as the drip.

Cavanaugh's Postulate
All kookies are not in a jar.

Law of Character and Appearance
People don't change; they only become more so.

Checkbook Balancer's Law
In matters of dispute, the bank's balance is always smaller than yours.

Borstelmann's Rule
If everything seems to be coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane.

The Law of Selective Gravity
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

Jenning's Corollary to the Law of Selective Gravity
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly 
proportional to the value of the carpet.

Law of the Perversity of Nature
You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.

Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a 
larger can.

Jones' Law
The man who can smile when things go wrong...has thought of someone 
he can blame it on.

First Law of Bridge
It's always the partner's fault.

Brien's First Law
At some time in the life cycle of virtually every organization, its ability 
to succeed in spite of itself runs out.

Broder's Law
Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years 
organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.

Brontosaurus Principle
Organizations can grow faster than their brains can manage them in 
relation to their environment and to their own physiology; when this 
occurs, they are an endangered species.

Brooks's First Law
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

Brooke's Second Law
Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers 
something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.

Bruce-Brigg's Law of Traffic
At any level of traffic, any delay is intolerable.

Bucy's Law
Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.

Thoughts on Programming, Number 52
The user does not know what he wants until he sees what he gets.
     -Ed Yourdon

Radar's Fundamental Truth
The grass is brown on both sides of the fence.

Benchley's Law
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed 
to be doing at that moment.

First Law of Bicycling
No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.

The Billings Phenomenon
The conclusions of most good operations research studies are obvious.

Blaauw's Law
Established technology tends to persist in spite of new technology.

Blanchard's Newspaper Obituary Law
If you want your name spelled wrong, die.

Rules of Pratt #1
If a severe problem manifests itself, no solution is acceptable unless 
it is involved, expensive, and time consuming.

Rules of Pratt #2
Sufficient monies to do the job correctly the first time are not available, 
however, ample funds are much easier obtained for repeated revisions.

Boling's Postulate
If you're feeling good, don't worry.
You'll get over it.

Bolton's Law of Ascending Budgets
Under current practices, both expenditures and revenues rise to meet each 
other, no matter which one may be in excess.

Advanced Systems News Letter
The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.

Boyle's Observation
A welfare state is one that assumes responsibility for the health, 
happiness, and general well-being of all its citizens except the taxpayers.

Boston's Irreversible Law of Clutter
In any household, junk accumulates to fill the space available for its storage.

RB's Five-Thumb Postulate
Experience varies directly with the equipment ruined.

Lafayette's Reprisal
The squeaky wheel gets replaced.

Boob's Law
You always find something the last place you look.

Boozer's Revision
A bird in the hand is dead.

Baker's Law
Misery no longer loves company.
Nowadays it insists on it.

Baldy's Law
Some of it plus the rest of it is all of it.

Barr's Comment on Domestic Tranquility
On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy -- but we'll work on it.

Barth's Distinction
There are two classes of people: those who divide people into two classes, and those who don't.

Bartz's Law of Hokey Horsepuckery
The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.

Baruch's Rule for Determining Old Age
Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.

Forthoffer's Cynical Summary of Barzun's Laws
1)  That which has not yet been taught directly can never be taught directly.
2)  If at first you don't succeed, you will never succeed.

Baxter's First Law
Government intervention in the free market always leads to a lower national standard of living.

Law of Cybernetic Entomology
There's always one more bug.

Beauregard's First Law
When you're up to your nose in it, keep your mouth shut.

Beauregard's Second Law
All people are cremated equal.

Thoughts on Management
If everyone dislikes it, it must be looked into.
   If everyone likes it, it must be looked into.

Hunts Law of Suspense
If any work has a suspense date on it, that work will be completed as
close to the suspense date as possible regardless of how far in advance
it was programmed.

Belle's Constant
The ratio of time involved in work to time available for work is usually about 0.6.

Golub's Laws of Computerdom #1
A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than
expected; a carefully planned project will take only twice as long.

Golub's Laws of Computerdom #2
The effort required to correct the error increases geometrically with time.

The First Law of Management
Kickbacks must always exceed bribes.

Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law
Everything goes wrong all at once.

The New Math Version of Murphy's Law
If there is a 50/50 chance of something going wrong, nine times out of ten it will.

O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law
Murphy was an optimist.

Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics
Things get worse under pressure.

Orion's Law
Everything breaks down.

The Murphy Philosophy
Smile ... tomorrow will be worse.


All great discoveries are made by mistake.


Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

Army Law
If it moves, salute it; if it doesn't move, pick it up; if you can't pick it up, paint it.

Astrology Law
It's always the wrong time of the month.

Fourteenth Corollary of Atwood's General Law of Dynamic Negatives
No books are lost by loaning except those you particularly wanted to keep.

Avery's Rule of Three
Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working around the house
the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job -- it is the
start of a brand new series of three.

Babcock's Law
If it can be borrowed and it can be broken, you will borrow it and you
will break it.

Baer's Quartet
What's good politics is bad economics; what's bad politics is good
economics; what's good economics is bad politics; what's bad economics
is good politics.

Baker's Byroad
When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Murphy's Law #16
If several things that could have gone wrong have not gone wrong, it
would have been ultimately beneficial for them to have gone wrong.

Murphy's Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

Lucy's Law
No good deed goes unpunished.

Lyon's Law of Hesitation
He who hesitates is last.

Marshall's Generalized Iceberg Theorem
Seven-eighths of everything can't be seen.

McGoons Law
The probability of winning is inversely propertional to the amount of the wager.

McGovern's Law
The longer the title, the less important the job.

McGurk's Law
Any improbable event which would create maximum confusion if it did occur, will occur.

H.L.Mencken's Law
Those who can--do.
Those who cannot--teach.
Those who cannot teach--administrate.

Miller's Law
You can't tell how deep a puddle is until you step into it.

MIST Law (Man In The Street)
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Nessen's Law
Secret sources are more credible.

Nienberg's Law
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.

O'Brien's Rule
Nothing is ever done for the right reason.

Panic Instruction
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Paradox of Selective Equality
All thing being equal, all things are never equal.

Murphy's Law #1
Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Murphy's Law #2
Everything takes longer than you think.

Murphy's Law #3
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

Murphy's Law #4
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will 
cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will 
happen then.

Murphy's Law #5
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

Murphy's Law #6
If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure 
can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, 
will promptly develop.

Murphy's Law #7
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

Murphy's Law #8
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Murphy's Law #9
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

Murphy's Law #10
Mother nature is a bitch.

Murphy's Law #11
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Murphy's Law #12
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

Murphy's Law #13
Every solution breeds new problems.

Murphy's Law #14
Fixing a thing takes longer and costs more than you thought.

Murphy's Law #15
Complex problems have simple, easy-to-understand wrong answers.

Bachmann's first law
No matter how you turn - your ass is always at the back
   (Uanset hvordan man vender er røven altid bagud)

Bachmann's second law
   Life is hard - and then you die

Bachmann's third law
   Distance between the Boss and the keyboard is proportional with the rate of IT-security